Saturday, November 15, 2014

melalak pukul 3 pagi

akibat kebosanan dan sakit pinggang sebab duduk lama membalut batu karang, tepat kol 2 gua ajak le bitches to go for karaoke. sorang suara sedap, sorang suara tak sedap, tapi habutkan aje. sebab nak enjoy je pun..

semua orang ingat kalau karoke nak kene suara sedap. bagi aku, suara sedap tu bonus je. yang penting feel tu masa nyanyi. i have a friend dulu, yang suka karoke. karoke bertahun2, tapi suara masih seperti kuntilanak... tapi takpe, aku suka jugak karoke dgn dia, sbb dia layan gila lagu masa nyanyi. itu yang best pasal karoke snarnye.

paling best, kalau bawak mic stand sendiri masuk bilik karoke. fuhhh... meleleh air liur pikir.

sekarang gua dah balik, gua nak sambung buat kirja sebelum balik rumah to mandi. menyesal plak tak bawak barang mandi...jauh do nak balik rumah, patu nak dtg balik.

nasib baik internet ukm dah ok. kalau tak mungkin akan rasa nak marah sedikit dan mungkin kerja takkan terusik langsung.

tetiba gua teringat lagu keroncong untuk ana.

m.nasir is awsome!

Monday, November 10, 2014

When i was 5
I wanted to be a ninja

At 7
I wanted to be a scientist

A doctor

Turning 13
Made me feel like i wanted to be a musician

Then when i graduated highschool
Parents wanted me to be a surgeon

I got into engineering instead...and did really bad

Having not completed my studies, i switched to Marine Biology

So hyped about becoming a scientist, just like the ones ive seen in National Geographic documentaries long ago. Thought that its exactly what i am going to be.

But now,
Considering the consequences..
Ill just be whatever i can be
Just as long as it gets me out of here.

Sad, that once you get older,
Dreams dont matter as much, as escaping does?

Final year project

I'm in my third year now, well, technically. Cz I still have 3 semesters to complete before graduating.. I could say that this sem feels the worst I ever felt. I have so many classes, and I don't seem to be managing my time very well, skipped so much that I think I couldn't actually catch up with what has been taught in class. It's a sad thing to happen and it's pressuring me a bit- I need to score higher than last semester. Would be a shame if I din, my father in law wouldn't be too pleased... He spent a hell lot of money on me!

I enjoy doing my FYP though. i get to do what i want and my supervisor happens to be a cool person, one that i can actually converse with. i dont have to pretend to be someone im not because he is one of the lecturers whom i perceive to be 'open minded'. honestly before, i never thought that we would ever click, from the stories that i heard of him but after spending some time to get to know him i think that people exaggerate things a little to much. not to say that since i enjoy being in his company i take his word for everything, and i have seen quite a lot of people to learn how to judge all bullshit and what not even when i might not be correct about everything, but i get the idea that he is someone that i could get knowledge from. Fuck what others have to say about me working under his supervision, as what matters is that i am learning things. thats what going to school is about, no?

Everyone makes mistakes, and repeating them isnt much of a big deal to me because were only human after all...  were not machines that could operate at high efficiency once calibrated, we humans have so many emotions to consider as to be able not to repeat the same faults again. and it just sucks when you get criticized for it even when theres effort being put in to avoid the flaws. but whatever, maybe its just me thinking of it that way.

Sunday, August 3, 2014


recently i had like 3 accidents in two months, how much worse can it be? lucky the bad luck streak ended with the 3rd accident... as my results werent affected. Ladies and gentlements, for the first time in my dragging studying history, i received all A's for the subjects i took (ada jugak A- sebenarnye...but still saying all A's sounds so much satisfying!lol) and those grades contributed to a 3.81 GPA, and thus elevating my CGPA from 3.09 to 3.31. i have to say, i was least expecting such results, as i thought i was kinda 'meh' in 2 or 3 papers... rezeki rezeki.

i hope this would continuously be the case (minus the accidents) for coming semesters... seronok tgk result bagus ni. baru lah DH tak kutuk aku! ha!

im taking the short semester course for an english subject, which i dont think is necessary at all, as all we learn is how to write resumes and c.v's and how to talk, bla3... so boring. boring classes make me feel like its unnecessary to attend classes and sort, though i still wish to get an a for it. such a dreamer, i am. 

Sunday, May 25, 2014

i am petrified

of the thought that exams being just around the corner, and fucking afraid id miss the chance to do my final year project on something i have always wanted to work on. yes undergrad research is not specialized but whatever, i still want to work on corals. 

this semester has been pretty good, ive been submitting everything wayy before everyone else, except for the fact that we have statistics... i dont know if im going to pass the subject or not, and i damn well hope i do with at least a B! but mann, numbers are soo confusing right now, and i made the mistake of not studying it from the beginning,  bet i am going to do shit in the exams later

i even considered doing the 'mc for being stressed' trick on the day of the paper itself, as how ive always done for papers that i dont have the confidence to face during my days in usm(eventhough i did so, my results still sucks), but i cannot afford to waste anymore time. its been almost 6 years since i started my degree, and im not even in the medical line.

oh Allah, please make everything fall into place for me. pleaseeee :(

Monday, April 21, 2014

Kisah merapu..

a month ago i bought myself a Samsung Galaxy Note 3,after months of waiting for my ptptn money... lama gila rasenye menunggu when you really need the thing you plan on buying. i broke my s2 in an anger management session lol and since that was my only phone at that time i really needed a replacement as the session just had to occur during final exams.. tp tak dapat time tu punn, sbb takdok pitih! mehhh...and then i saw a couple of my friends using the Note 3,tried it out and i found it to be pretty likeable (i used to hate the note line of products, always thought of it as being too big to fit in my pocket and ridiculous to talk on,like placing a stone slab on the side of my face).

so dgn konfidennye aku bersungguh nak beli note 3,dah konfem itulah phone yang akan aku beli, walaupun time tu ada ura2 yang s5 dah nak keluar sikit je lagi. walaupun s5 tu seemed more appealing to an ex-fitness junkie like me(for the heartrate sensor),pikir2 balik aku ni bukanlah serajin dulu nak exercise sangat, semua nya palsu belaka, maka aku pun decided to stick with the decision of buying the galaxy note 3.

maka the day i got my ptptn money,aku dan sang suami berkejar terus ke klcc untuk beli phone tersebut. i opted for the rose gold/black color, semangat ni, pilih plan bagai (beli dengan maxis),just to find out that i have been blacklisted by DiGi for having an unpaid broadband bill. Lahar gila! aku seperti nak mengamuk tapi tak boleh kerana aku masih diketika itu, berada di tempat umum, maka aku mencarut dengan sopan je kat operator digi tu sewaktu on the phone dengan beliau. last2 aku sedarkan diri dari rasukan ablasa tu and tanya dia elok2 'so what do i have to do now to set things right again?'

dia pun memberi aku jawapan yang laki aku tak boleh nak terima..lagi2 sebab its on a weekend.,and manusia semuanya nak keluar time weekend. aku takdehal, laki aku la gelabah lebih..

operator: pegi digi, amek statement account, pegi balai polis, buat report, hantar balik kat digi report tu.
aku: adoi.. (sambil jeling2 tgk laki aku,dlm hati dah rasa--habisla kene bebel--),u je bagi i statement takleh            ke?
operator: takleh kene pegi kat digi
aku: ok lah oklah.bye!

went to my husband..

aku: b, kita kene bla3 (told him what i was told to do)
laki: aduiiiiiiiiiii i dah cakap dah lain kali jangan careless hilang wallet la apa la bla3
aku: why must you be bitter about this? i am the one yang takboleh nak beli phone, bukan you.kalau u                  taknak bawak i pergi digi, nnt i boleh pegi sendiri.jgn la nak marah2 pulak..
laki: senyap.

aku telah berjaya mencaras laki aku. bukan dengan cara yang kasar ye,walaupun kekadang aku mmg kasar, hahahaha tapi aku cuba untuk berlemah lembut dgn laki aku supaya dia tak rasa stress dgn aku and takde la rasa nak kawen lain.

but he took me to the digi center in timesquare anyways, even with the shitty traffic. and then buat report. but we din go back to digi after,sbb malas nak harung traffic. dia suruh aku pegi sendiri je nanti. kan senang!.. pastu kitorang pun balik ke klcc, sbb his cousins were waiting for us there...letih je..nak beli phone punye pasal.ingat boleh setel haritu gak, tapi takleh rupenye. so redha jela..

cerita2 dgn makcik dia about the unfortunate event, and then makcik dia cakap, you can use my name to purchase.

lahhhhhh....asal tak buat camtu je tadi do.buat penat je. aku pun berlari pergi ke maxis just 5 mins before the center closes dan cakap nak guna nama laki aku untuk beli phone tersebut.and dia kata boleh, and i even got it almost half the price, since DH has been using maxis since forever.jimat duit i. rezeki betul.. eching2 mcm takde hari lain dah boleh beli phone tu kan.haha

so itulah kisahnye pasal tepon aku. hahaha... sebenarnye takde arah nak post, aku saja nak try type guna laptop laki aku. k bye!

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Scuba diving

? My last dive was like what, a couple of months ago I think. So obviously I was super2 excited about the living on board trip that I went for recently. And boy, how awesome the trip was!

I was out stationed for almost a week, as a couple of days before the LOB thingy we had fieldwork at pulau Tinggi. The fieldwork itself was cool even with only a couple of dives, imagine LOB, diving all day long!

Fieldwork took 2 days, and it was a practical thing we had to apply from classes back in UKM, regarding the Survey Methods subject. We learned how to place transects on Sea grass and coral reef areas, and learned how to assess them. With the coral reefs, it was pretty easy. Even though my buoyancy (this is crucial to be known) sucked ass, I could still manage to hover above the corals without breaking them. But seagrasses, damn.. They're pretty hard. I couldn't stay properly buoyant, not even for a few seconds. And it's hard if you keep falling to the ground because the floor of the area consists of super fine substrate particles that would cloud the waters if you had them suspended with your awkward movements (this happens when you try too hard to stay buoyant, as buoyancy should come as natural as possible). And when the water gets cloudy, no work can be done until it settles down again. And mind you, that would take quite sometime. Beginner divers like us can only spend like what, an hour underwater, tops. We needed to take about 10 clear photos, and if each photo was distrupted by 10mins of cloudiness, I don't think there would be enough time for things to be done. And that would suck , because we get assessed by our ability to do stuff underwater.
Diving while LOB on the other hand, was of no pressure. It was all leisure, and the fact that we weren't being seriously watched made me control my buoyancy much much better. Lol looks like I am not as tough as I think I am, since I suck being under pressure! Oh I forgot to mention, in pulau Tinggi, I thought the water is as clear as it gets, but man was I wrong.. Around the Tioman Island, it is ten times better! Imagine, being able to see the sea bed 40m below from the surface! Initially looking down from the boat I thought that it is shallow, but then our instructor told us how deep it actually is and I went like, fuyooh ! Hahaha. Jakun kan, lama lakk tak dive.

The only problem I had during the dives was that I would bleed a bit ascending. One of my dive masters said that it is common for descends so mine is like a different thing. But my instructor said it's normal if I've got sinus problems so it din worry me. It hurt real bad though, like someone smacked me in the head with an iron cast pan. And that kinda ruined my mood sometimes...although I am thankful it hurts above water. If it was underwater, I bet I wouldn't be enjoying my dives one bit! Alhamdullillah ;)

The other-instructor was all about spearing fish, same goes to the boat owner. Everytime they went down they'd come up with creatures in their hands. On one of the nights they were telling stories about how the owner of the boat used to dive down 70m deep on a single tank, just to collect sand for a paid request. How he used to be so fast, no one could catch up with him, how he used to be able to catch a load of fish and that now he can only carry one or two, and all his legendary acts came to rest with just a 5 meter dive.. (his lungs almost burst upon ascending). I was in awe. I look up to people like him, so skillful!

Oh and I had another problem, apparently this one has been since forever. I couldn't shit anything out. It gets stressful when my stomach starts to ache, but nothing comes out even when I push so fucking hard. Usually I could last to about a week not shitting, but this time I ate a little bit too much so 2days was max. Last day on the boat I practically fasted so yeah I made it home safe with the load lol.

I couldn't post pictures of me diving because I did not wear any head scarf or hood for the whole trip. Maybe next time I shall get a proper outfit for future trips then only can I post photos of the whole thing. Plus, I think the blogger app on Android does not allow the arranging of photos so it would be messy if I uploaded anything thru it. Nevertheless, you guys who have never dived should definitely try out diving for the wonderful experience it gives :)

I know I would never give up diving even if my skin goes crisp black from the sun!