Sunday, March 22, 2015

lets see now.. aku bukak laptop kol 3 ptg.. nak buat kerja..

sekarang dah pukul 1 pagi.

dari siang tadi aku dok main2 dgn gmbar.. and tgk fb..

kah3...

tak boleh harap langsung.

esok kelas kol 8. tah boleh bangun tah tidak. biasa mmg kalau kunci jam aku sedar dari tido.. tapi nak bangun dari katil tu yang malas gila.. dah la kalau kelas kol 8 aku kene gerak sebelum kol 6.15, kalau aku nak naik public transport. taxi pun kene gerak awal, sebab kalau pukul 8 kat station tu mmg takde taxi.. tunggu lah sapai 8.30, baru ada. malas aku.. dah la kene berebut. kelas sejam plak.. tak berbaloi langsung. subject esok ni lecturer biasa ajar simple and short je.. so usually itd only take like 45 mins or so. kalau 8.30 baru nak naik cab.. dgn having to share it with another one or two passengers.. mmg 8.45 lah aku sampai kelas. bukan aku malu tau sampai lambat.. aku selalu jer sampai lewat gila..selamber masuk. lecturer pun paham kot.. sebab tau aku duduk kat kl. dulu masa naik basikal lagi lah.. dah la sampai lewat, peluh jeruk.. letih mengayuh, so tido jelah in the remaining minutes. tapi kalau kecuh kecah semata nak sampai kelas yang dah habis.. tak ke bengap namanye tu.. baik aku tido je kat rumah..

mau tk mau.. kene gerak awal ler.. puiiihhh..

masa first sem dulu aku selalu dapat bawak kereta kalau kelas pagi.. so kelas tak pernah miss.. ni makin hujung makin malas plak. hahahahha.

good night!


Saturday, March 21, 2015

Aku suka tgk documentaries.. especially the ones on wildlife. Ever since I was young, the national geographic slot on rtm,tv3 was something that I anticipated. Without fail,tiap2 minggu mmg aku tgk.. kalau terlepas tu kira frust gila lah..sebab dulu astro takde, so shows only run once.

Sekarang dah ada astro,internet lagi.. takpe lah. Kalau sempat je tgk.

Kejap ni aku tgk man in the wild:water. This african guy, made a significant change to the lands he roam. Dari tanah gersang,dia boleh buat pokok tumbuh... jadi hutan. Dia sorang pulak tuh, sebab the rest of the tribe thinks he's crazy and they dont think hed make it so they refused to help. And he doesnt even have scientific knowledge. Tapi dia boleh pikir mcmana nak retain water, encourage symbioses.. and all sorts of things.

And that scuba jeff guy..the mabul guy. He used to pay kids to collect plastic waste. Like wtf.. aku tak pernah terpikir pun nak buat mcm tu. kenapa dia pikir macam tu weh?!!?!?!

and theres this friend of mine, from usm, younger than me, but already thinking above and beyond. buat macam2.. sampai boleh pergi LI dekat woodshole institute of oceanography..(interns in the states and in research centers like this one are difficult to try for.. baru try tau. competition bersepah.. i tried applying for MBARI before, tapi tak dapat.. sebab resume aku 0..kah3... orang pemalas.. mcm ni lah.. mengharap durian tu gugur terbukak dan isi dia terlantun keluar sambil force tu menanggalkan the whole flesh from the seed, terus masuk dalam mulut aku..mmg tak dapek la kannn..).

Aku yang ada acientific knowledge and resources ni..tak boleh nak fikir mcm mana nak buat something for the environment..mcm dorang dorang ni.. aduhai.

Maybe I seem easily impressed by people..but man, kau boleh ke fikir nak buat bende2 mcm tu? Aku rasa mungkin sebab aku sekarang ni agak content with life..walaupun masih tak mampu nak duduk diam2 kat rumah.. kalau boleh aku nak merayap je. ikut org... sape2 pun tak kesah.. janji merayap.. haha.. apa punya bini daa..

Kadang2 the thought of not being able do think of something usefull makes me feel like shit. You might think im exaggerating, but no im not. I love the environment,very much. Itu pasal aku amek marine biology. Sebab mmg bende ni lah yg aku nak buat dari kecik..tapi tulah..my brain isnt that productive. Yang gua terer ialah kelentong hahahaha. Janji gua boleh merayap tanpa dipersoalkan.. I feel like its a waste that us humans are causing the deterioration of it unconsciously by time..and its really sad when documentaries from years ago that features pristine conditions of ecosystems are no longer true in todays world.

Nanti in years to come will people still be able to see the beauty of our planet?

My worst fear on this issue is if all that remains would only be of memories in the future.

Bila lah otak gua nak start turning nihhh..bilaaaaaaaaa??!!! Arghghghhh

Friday, March 20, 2015

I like the taste of burnt raisins.. bitter sweet.

I blog a lot lately.. yang gap lama aku tak blog tu bukan sebab apa..banyak je bende aku nak cakap2..tapi tak tertulis..sebab phone dulu susah nak post. Aku tak minat pakai client app...

Seb baik blackberry ni boleh guna browser mcm biasa and senang lah jugak nak post..compared to samsung dulu.kalau nak post guna browser dia macam ada bende tak kene.

Its weird for me not to say these things out loud, because bila aku tgh cakap dgn org aku terpikir..but it just wont come out. Hahah.. I guess I like keeping things inside je kot. That pretty much explains the failed vlog attempts lol.

I got to know that UKM will be sending us squash players for the racquet sports event in sarawak sometime during may. Aku harap takde laaaa player power.. bosan lah asek kalah je.. kah3. Takde motivasi langsung! Dulu aku gila babi training nak naik..tapi takde hape pun..sebab aku takde background sukan.. kerja aku throughout my primary and highschool years is makan tido jer. Start pegang reket masa nak habis matrik..pastu kat usm jadi gila kejap..12 jam sehari wei duduk kat court. Hari hari,without fail.Kelas tak pergi apa pun tak buat

Org sampai panggil aku penunggu squash court. Hehe.. last2 penunggu ni boleh 1.57 je hahahahahaha.. pastu mak aku tny dpt berapa..aku cakap 2.7..ghopernye surat sampai kat rumahhh sebab kene probation kan..haha..tu paling bongok skali. Seb baik mak aku redha je.

Tapi masa tu aku susah nak ubah cara aku started with.. basics were bad..so everything else was bad as well. But I was so in love with the sport.. when I got married, DH Cakap takleh main, I felt so down..like my heart was ripped into a thousand pieces. Serious wa cakap lu. Masa tu aku pun tak tau nak kata apa..time tu plak takde org tau aku dah kawen, so bila kene buli mcm tu aku tak tau nak cakap kat siapa. Haha..sadis betul.

sekarang ok lah.. dia tak bagi pun terpaksa bagi je.. hahahaha

Sekarang I am playing much better than dulu, even with less hours. Because I have finally managed to grasp the basics, and learned how to relax, and play just to keep me satisfied. And of course win some lah kan.. asek kalah je bosan gak. UKM hantar untuk medal..tapi aku mampu main ikut kemampuan aku je..sebab sini takde coach. Training sendiri boleh dapat medal ke? Gua bukan squash prodigy beb... kalau tak konfem2 aku dah main malaysia, walaupun start main at the age of 20.

Kalau dapat medal tu..mmg lah sebab player power takde, kah3.

Dulu senang sikit nak menang..sebab masum biasa dia within ipta je.. sekarang both ipta and ipts ada skali. Banyak state players masuk ipts..so bila dah semua ada.. competition dia mmg tough la. Aku tak boleh nak lawan lah dorg punye shots and ball placements.. kejar bola aku ok. Tapi kalau semua dah nak main trick shots je..mampus jugak nak mengejarnye. Fitness gua hancur.. sebab..sebab..hahahahahaha. If you lepak with me and the circumstances are right, then you will know why :p

Its almost 5 in the morning.. so boring. I played a bit of battlefield tadi..best jugak sebab I got quite a lot of kills today.




Today is one of the most boring days in my entire life... cari org nak lepak.. org takde! Hahahahaha.

Disebabkan bosan..aku bawak kereta pun 60km/h je td dari bangi sampai lah ke rumah..

Itu kira petak tahap mokhsya dah tu. Kalau tak myvi tu habis meter aku tekan.

Sesampainye di rumah..gua duduk tgk you tube, baring2, pusing sana pusing sini.. main peluk2 dgn laki aku.. dgr lagu balik, masak nasik..potong tembikai yg tak sedap langsung..

Adoii.. apebende la nak buat ni sial. Padahal kerja bertimbun jer.. haha tapi mood kerja tu tak dtg.. rasa nak lepak je.taknak duduk diam buat kerja! Taknakkkkk!

Tak sabar nak tunggu isnin..nak pergi ukm..

Disebabkan aku merengek non stop sebab bosan kat laki aku.. he gave in. And brought me to the movies. We watched kingsman, which I thought was pretty cool because of this guy

Ive always liked watching him act. I find him to show the expressions that I appreciate. Mcm ada takde perasaan gituh... walaupun tua..tapi pergh. Style sial... pehhhhhhh..angau la aku malam niiii..hahaha. aritu kat alan rickman, ni kat dia plak. 

I dont know wether its them being british that caught me or what but they definitely are very sexy men.



Thursday, March 19, 2015

I have a friend, who is in the process of a divorce. Kawan aku ni laki. Bini dia yang mintak cerai tu. They have been together for almost 15 years, including 8 years of marriage. Alasan bini dia mintak cerai mmg aku tak boleh nak brain lah kan..because dorang dah susah sama2 dari awal. Secara tiba jahhh bila bini dia dah kerja masyuk, start buat perangai, mintak cerai..katanya kerana kawan aku ni tak mampu tanggung family.

And dia maki macam2 lagi... agak haru lah kan.

Kawan aku ni sedih gila..sebab dia tak sangka, kenal punya lah lama, tapi disebabkan harta bini dia boleh jadi mcm tu. Padahal family kawan aku ni banyak gila tolong bini dia bab duit even before dorg kawin lagi.

Tapi disebabkan bini dia mintak cerai dan dah malukan kawan aku ni, semua org pun jadi benci ahh kat bini dia. Mak bapak, kawan2(laki aku) nasihat suruh dia forget the wife and find someone else,and never to go after her again. I have my doubts, because I feel like he is kinda like me, where perasaan dia tu bersembunyi disebalik lawak2 bodo bangang dia dan kata2 poyo dia yang dia takkan pegi balik ke bini dia.

And memang betul pun.. despite all the brainwashing from various parties, dia masih menaruh harapan untuk bini dia balik kat dia. Bini dia sekarang malas nak deal dgn court case or bayar gantirugi kot, that dia pujuk kawan aku ni balik, demi anak katanya. Obviously mamat ni nak! Perasaan sayang ni bukan boleh suka suka hati je dtg dan pergi. Casanova sekalipun, kalau dah sangkut sorg, mmg dia sangkut jugak... walaupun dia still nak main cinta dgn org lain.

And bila laki aku dapat tau, dia rasa nak marah kat kawan aku ni.

So I told him..

Kita tak duduk kat tempat dia. Semua org cakap senang suruh lupa, tapi sebenarnya kalau jadi kat kita, entah lagi teruk terhegeh2nye. Aku sendiri pun kalau ko mintak cerai maki2 pastu pujuk aku balik, mmg aku akan balik kat ko. And I am pretty sure that you would do the same. It would be different if he already has someone to be with. Ni apa pun takde.. dahla dia ada anak dgn bini dia tuh. And dia pernah susah sama2. The very least we could do is just be there for him lah.. kata kawan?!

Hahaha.. aku rasa mcm penasihat agung sangat when I came out with such sentences.. but seriously beb, cakap aku yang ni..mmg betul dan boleh pakai. Aku rasa lah. Kan..hahahahaha

Janganlah main2 dengan perasaan.. you dont know how much it could hurt anyone. I have been frustrated myself and believe me, the pain is even worse than my second miscarriage. And aku ni kira berhati jantan lah jugak..

Harini makan banyak..nak tido takboleh..perut kembung sgt. Esok kononnye nak bangun pagi pergi gym pastu main squash kat ukm. Tah boleh tah tidak..pg td pun bangun kol 10.30...hahaha.


Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Karoke..best nyanyi lagu melayu lama2 je. Sebab lagu melayu je yg mendayu..tak kira lah rock ke tak. Kalau mat salleh lagu dia mcm biasa je.

Sejak 2 menjak ni aku asek pergi karoke je..dulu, aku mmg suka gila karoke. Yelah sekarang pun suka jugak. Tapi dulu lg gila.. tiap malam 20 lagu. Lagu satu singgit..so berbaloi la kan..haha.. sekarang kat kl ni kira per room per hour..kalau nak nyanyi banyak kene skip lagu sokmo. Tak puas..

Banyak bende aku rasa tak kena sekarang nih.. pasal apa entah. Umur baru 25 going 26 end of this year, takkan dah ada mid life crisis? Hidup gua sampai 50 je ke?

Must have something to do with religion nih.. dulu masa jack2 alim kerja aku nak main squash je. Sekarang tak berapa alim macam2 nak buat. Hahahahaha... jgn macam2 jgn macam2.

Finally taik aku keluar semua harini..berkat blog dlm jamban.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Apa tu hidup tanpa tujuan?

Hidup yg ko bangun,pergi ukm,nak buat kerja,tapi tak buat, kelas tak pergi sebab malas nak gerak dari tempat duduk semasa, pastu fikir bila nak siap..

Senang cite pikir je tapi tak de action

aku lah tu.. adoi..