aku jumpe mamat ni kat mespes time skola2 dulu. dah tuhan bagi aku lepak dgn dia, alhamdulillah la kan, sampi kawin dah pun haha. tapi kitorang kawin cara lain sket. cara spesel. cara yang orang rasa tak patut buat, tapi disebabkan i am who i am, so aku buat jugak. nothing wrong with it, its just that my family customs simply thinks its unacceptable.
perhaps i ought to say that im sorry to those whom i lied to about everything, especially about my status. bukan aku sesaja nak up market ke ape, but aku cuma risau if it would leak all the way to my parents. bende macam ni kan, USM tu plak kecik je, dahla sume orang suka gossip, so mmg aku taknak la sume orang tau. (tapi skarang takpe huahuahua)
sesungguhnye aku takde niat pun nak hurt my parents by telling them the truth, thats why i think some things are best kept secret. ini pendapat aku sendiri la kan, aku rasa, bende ni mmg mendatangkan kemarahan, but its not something that Allah disagrees with, and when He says ok, we as human beings, hamba2 dia ni, sepatutnya terima dgn hati terbuka. i admit, aku pun bukan la seorang yang redha (walaupun most of the crucial things in life aku redha je e.g; result yang tahpape walaupun penat2 pulun last menet) because aku slalu complain about things not going my way tapi bila datang bab2 halal haram, agama dosa ni, aku macam boleh kata, tak puas pikir la. aku mmg tak alim mana pun, aurat tak jaga mana, solat ada gak tertinggal, melawan lagi, dulu buat bukan2 lagi, tapi yang aku sedar la, 2, 3 years back, aku rasa segan sbb aku tak pedulikan agama sgt, buat apa aku suka. time2 aku tak jaga aurat pun, aku taknak snarnya, tapi tah ahh, aku tak cukup iman doh, pikir nak senang pakai je, bab dosa pikir gak, tapi the thought of simplifying things tu dominates my mind so aku abaikan tuhan. bila pikir2 balik, macam bodoh gila, pikir tuhan tapi buat jugak. so the decision i made a year ago was to make me start to think more about Allah (eventhough i fail countless times, am only human after all) about what would be best for my religion in the long run. My parents refuse to accept DH, tapi aku nak jugak dia, and being with him all the time but not being legal in the eye of Allah buat aku rasa bersalah. it was like, aku nak solat tapi aku tak solat sbb aku rasa tak guna solat if nnt nak buat bende haram balik. so solat tu untuk apa? syarat sbb kata aku ni islam la? jahil la aku klu camtu, bek jadi kafir je.
bukan nak kata aku ni baik ok, takkkk. dah aku rasa macam tu nak buat macamane. tu pun syukur la beb tuhan bagi aku perasaan macam tu, klu tak, sampai bila nak hanyut dalam dosa? even dah sah dgn DH skarang pun buat dosa bersepah lagi, tambah klu tak kawin? chet. sia2 je hidup aku.
haha, ko mesti rasa apebende laaaa yang aku dah buat ni. ahahaha, kelakar dohh, aku nak bagitau ko pun kelakar. why dont you have a guess? takpe ahhh aku btau laa. aku kawin lari :D
12/7/2010 was the date of when we got married. 2nd year 2nd semester! sapa rasa tertipu hembus taik hidung!hahaha. ingat taknak bagitau pun my parents, but then i just had to tell because DH buat perangai bongok babi dia,nak memerap sbb dia rasa 'diperkecilkan' katanya haha, lantaklaaa, dah bgtau da pun and im soo glad i did cz our status doesnt have to kept secret anymore. eh eh aku tak kawin sbb aku mengandung ok, aku kawin sbb aku sayang DH and i want things to be done the right way according to my religion (the real right way would be that he comes to the house and go thru all the procedures of merisik ke meminang whatever shit, but were simple people hahaha, seriously, i always opt for simplicity. takde la semak otak sgt) and i feel like i need to change the way i live. woi kira baguslaaaa DH tu nak kawin dgn aku tau! haa most guys kecut perut siall bila sebut pasal kawin.
so DH's parents decided a kenduri for us, where the rest of the family would come to learn of me (to elakkan fitnah, tau2 jela orang kampung kann) since im going to be around DH alot nnt. it was a simple one, nothing fancy. You dont know how glad we were when DH's family was super cool about us eloping. Mak dia siap alhamdulillah lagi sbb mak dia ingat dah terlanjur... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. anyways mak dia kata bagus ahh bende halal yada3. his dad was a bit frustrated at first, but then one of his uncles kasik nasihat sket kat ayah dia kata ni ketentuan tuhan, terima jela lagipun bukan bende salah... ahh well, atleast how his family thinks of our situation lightens my mind's burden of the negative opinions.
theres more to the story though, im not much of a story teller. im basically what i type, if i try to elaborate more than things might get mixed up. so mana yang aku type ni, ni jela ceritanya for now.
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