Stressed deep inside!

i feel so disturbed. you wanna know why?ill tell you why.

I havent exercised for almost two months

sumpah everytime i think of it i feel like i have butterflies in my stomach. takut doh, ive been so active before, and suddenly everything stops, and i dont get to exercise because of evryone else being paranoid? cehh. i can do weight training and all but then weight training alone wont work if i want to maintain my body! i need to sweat, and i need to sweat aloooottt. i should be training for this weekends marathon, but then tak train pun because, DH and me, were not allowed out of the house. theres a treadmill in the house, belonging to DH's aunt, and she said i could use it...

DH's aunt: tu ada tu, guna la

DH         : ha, guna la, beli mahal gak tu kan?

DH's aunt: 1k jugak la beli

Me          :haih...

aku bukan taknak guna ok, its just that bende tu feeble gila, aku tgk haritu DH ada la macam lari2 anak kat atas mende tuh, and the fucking thing bent like it was going to break! scary dohh. aku tau la DH berat lebih so the load is plenty compared to if aku yang naik bende tuh, tapi aku nak lari serious bai, and if i run, the pressure on the mill would just be as same as when DH lari memain tu. and i guess everyone knows, that even the cheapest of treadmills (paling lopek skali pun) costs much2 more than 1k, a ps3 costs 1k, and thats the right price for it. not the treadmill though. so you do the thinking la, should i should i not run on it. satg lari, patah dua jahanam, langsung takde bende hiasan nak letak kat bawah. i heard his aunt only had it used for 2 days, and then its a decorative item. i guess the mill can only be used for walking, not serious running. whatever. i need to exercise!

ive been eating alot of sweets lately, each packet containing 350kcal, smalam aku makan bape peket sial, 8? 9? tak ingat dahh. tapi byk ahh,dgn nasik ayam lagi, haih. aku rasa ada laa dlm 5000kcal smalam? itu smalam, what about the days before? fuck fuck fuckkkkkk nak exercisee! i dont want to be unable to fit in my clothes wehhh mintak tolonggg. i dont want to be unfit either.. the whole year spent on improving my fitness, hoping to test it during kl marathon, all down the drain dah.. sob3. pleasee please please let me jog outside. i need to run...

bila nak guna nihhh?!!