org kata klu nak mengandung takleh sakit hati sgt nnt anak jadi perangai lebih, haha. tak tau ahh wehhh, susah bila orang buat kita lebih kurang je, mcm kita cakap ni, takda bawa apa2 makna pada dia, macam kita ni snarnye, klu takda dgn dia dah pun takpe, sbb dia lagi suka duduk sorang, boleh laaa isap rokok, kuar lepak smpi berbuih mulut and takde sape nak bising.
bagi akuu, klu orang dah kawin, tak perlu pun nak lepak after 12midnite. nak lepak, kuar siang, balik before 12, so that malam boleh tido dgn bini. atleast taknak spend time siang hari pun, malam duduk ah skali. taknak tgk muka, bila pagi esok nak kuar, takpayah bukak lampu so that tak nampak muka
perangai buruk pompuan ni yang laki commonly tak suka is that they suka membebel, habistu nak buat macam mana, mintak merayu, taknak, mintak elok, taknak, last2 sakit hati bebel jela, bukan mintak nak bagi laki tu masuk longkang pun, untuk diri dia jugak, tapi susah klu orang nak2 buta hati ni, sbb spek or contact lenses takbole pakai kat hati. tapi bini jugak kene marah balik. laki tu nak ape, sume bini dah bagi cuba bagi. pikir la sikit wei, jgn nak pikir hati sendiri je, kalau dah kawin, hati bukan diri laki tu punye je kene puaskan, bini punya kene amek kira jgak. ada ke orang kawin sbb nak bagi spouse dia sakit hati?
eh eh, tak kira laaa laki tu penat mana pun, laki tu kene layan bini elok2, penuh kasih syg, bukan mcm bende time nak pakai, pakai, time taknak biar je dulu. ni ahhh dia, pandai guna bini bagi rabak sume, sakit2, mengandung, beranak, tapi takreti nak jaga hati, yang tau rokok, lepak dia je, bini nak tegur tak boleh langsung, siap nak sepak terajang bagai. gila apa?
tak reti dahhh nak kabor mcmane, hati ni rasa sebak sayu bila orang yang kita syg, buat kata2 kita mcm sampah. time tak kawin bukan main lagi, time dah tau bende hak milik mutlak, buat suka hati.
aku kata dahhh jgn isap rokok aku nampak, klu aku suruh buang, buang jela, perlu ke nak tunjuk terer sgt? takut sgt orang kata takut bini? eii pegi mati laaa dgn kawan2 tu, dorang tau ape, sume sampah lebih. tak tau ape nak ckp orang lain takut bini. salah ke klu dgr ckp bini yang bagi sume bende kat laki dia? ha?
ni ah masalah laki, dia pikir dia king of the family dia tau sume, padahal family thoughts are to be shared with, bukan buat tindakan sorang. tak reti bertolak ansur. babi ah.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Saturday, June 25, 2011
macam2 hal laa..
Smalam kuar dgn DH's main family(mak ayah adik dia je, makcik dan cousin2 dan nenek tak ikut sbb kereta sgt kecik and tu pun dah habis seret dah bila naik bumper), i dont know why people keep on sayin bubba gump is good to dine at, coz its not really that good, its mediocre, manhattan is like a cheaper option of it, tak tau laaa sbb ni malaysia punye kan, klu kat overseas much better ke ape.. but appreciate it nevertheless,kang complain byk ada plakkk bunyi kata aku ungrateful wakaka.
so smalam merayau gak la dgn DH sementara tunggu makanan dtg, g kedai game, we wanted to get a better look at the racing cockpit we saw a few months back, time tu tak tgk sgt... skarang dah ada steering jadi tamak la suma nak beli. haha. the table were using now is like, super feeble, bila corner kanan kiri, the table kinda follows suit. tak cukup feel DH kata.
smalam aku tak bawak camera time nak kuar, so pakai yang tenet punya jela. niat di hati ada nak bawak camera tuh tapi macam segan la plak. last2 cam menyesal tak bawak, sbb nak blog takde gambar mcm boring... aku ni kira blogger pemalu laa haha nak amek gambar pun malu hahaha bodo nye lahaii.
anyways, back to the cockpit, cube ko teka how much it sells for? RM1,800 brooo, full set. RM800 utk tmpat letak steering je (which is the front part), yang tmpat letak krusi, skali dgn krusi RM1,000. DH says he'd buy the front part, and then beli separate bucket seat, so that the seat would be movable. Tapi aku nak the whole thing! takmo just the front part, because i like it the way it is,aku taknak krusi tu gerak2, aku taknak pakai krusi tu duduk tgk tv kat depan, because i like things to be made exclusively. especially when it comes to things like this, yang bawak excitement. duduk kat cockpit tu sodap gak, smalam aku try kat kedai game tu, haha, DH tny aku, feel like youre racing la? and i was like, mana nak tau, ive never been in a real race before. but it felt soo good that the seat was low and the wheel being properly in position instead of moving around (like the table prop were using). aku suruh dia duduk takmo. malu kot? wahahha.aku ni malu amek gambar je, bende lain aku tak malu :P
yes i did say id be on the run with DH, i agreed to go with anything that should be done eg: go into hiding, tak kuar rumah ke yada3, so aku ikut je la, bila masa laaa aku mintak nak kuar, kat DH pun aku tak mintak beb, DH yang mintak ada la, aku ni ikut dia je. aku tak turun bawah pun sbb takde bende nak buat, nak tgk tv takleh, dah kat bawah tu ada tv je. baik aku duduk atas, where all entertainment is available to keep me occupied and sane kannn, we go out sometimes, im thankful for that, but this isnt what im usually like, im not the type that does nothing, doing nothing for me means watching tv, gaming, reading. thats doing nothing, otherwise im constantly on the move trying to be fit. im really sorry if you think that i dont know how to mingle, but i do, really, its just that, skarang ni everyone is being paranoid, and dah ckp nak buat mcm i x exist in the house, so i buat je la, hahaha. tak salah kann?
oh and it really isnt my fault that DH suka buat bende tak bagitau aku. klu dia nak makan, dia turun sendiri, sbb takut aku tak bagi makan. dahhhhhh haritu janji dgn aku nak diet. ape cer beb? time2 dia nak makan lepas bgn tido boleh jee aku nak hidangkan, bukan aku tak buat, slalu klu aku turun makan dgn dia mesti aku hidang punya ahh, tapi dah masalahnye aku tak turun, time dia nak turun, tak ajak aku nak makan ke ape, camne aku nak hidang? pakai niat? aku yang tak kesah sgt pasal makanan ni jadi terasa tau, sbb aku bini dia, aku lagi suka makan dgn dia dari makan sensorang. tapi dia tak kesa pun takde aku time nak makan, or time nak buat apa2. tapi klu aku buat, ha siap nak memekak bagai.
aku ni, maybe nampak mcm tak malu, tapi aku segan dohh dgn DH's family. DH senang laa ckp takde bende nak segan, family dia family aku gak. plus dah ada yang having second thoughts, back talks and all, DH should try to protect me. bukan i nak u go against the family tau b, cuma bila ada yang becakap tu, tak payah nak menggelupur lebih. relax la, and answer things to how they are, then it should be fine. bendenye simple je klu suma orang paham cerita sebenar. kan kan kan? contoh dah ada depan mata taknak amek pedoman dan tauladan lagi. susahhhh susahhh.
bestnye klu bole men gt5 pakai cockpit kan syg kan? hahahaha.
so smalam merayau gak la dgn DH sementara tunggu makanan dtg, g kedai game, we wanted to get a better look at the racing cockpit we saw a few months back, time tu tak tgk sgt... skarang dah ada steering jadi tamak la suma nak beli. haha. the table were using now is like, super feeble, bila corner kanan kiri, the table kinda follows suit. tak cukup feel DH kata.
smalam aku tak bawak camera time nak kuar, so pakai yang tenet punya jela. niat di hati ada nak bawak camera tuh tapi macam segan la plak. last2 cam menyesal tak bawak, sbb nak blog takde gambar mcm boring... aku ni kira blogger pemalu laa haha nak amek gambar pun malu hahaha bodo nye lahaii.
anyways, back to the cockpit, cube ko teka how much it sells for? RM1,800 brooo, full set. RM800 utk tmpat letak steering je (which is the front part), yang tmpat letak krusi, skali dgn krusi RM1,000. DH says he'd buy the front part, and then beli separate bucket seat, so that the seat would be movable. Tapi aku nak the whole thing! takmo just the front part, because i like it the way it is,aku taknak krusi tu gerak2, aku taknak pakai krusi tu duduk tgk tv kat depan, because i like things to be made exclusively. especially when it comes to things like this, yang bawak excitement. duduk kat cockpit tu sodap gak, smalam aku try kat kedai game tu, haha, DH tny aku, feel like youre racing la? and i was like, mana nak tau, ive never been in a real race before. but it felt soo good that the seat was low and the wheel being properly in position instead of moving around (like the table prop were using). aku suruh dia duduk takmo. malu kot? wahahha.aku ni malu amek gambar je, bende lain aku tak malu :P
yes i did say id be on the run with DH, i agreed to go with anything that should be done eg: go into hiding, tak kuar rumah ke yada3, so aku ikut je la, bila masa laaa aku mintak nak kuar, kat DH pun aku tak mintak beb, DH yang mintak ada la, aku ni ikut dia je. aku tak turun bawah pun sbb takde bende nak buat, nak tgk tv takleh, dah kat bawah tu ada tv je. baik aku duduk atas, where all entertainment is available to keep me occupied and sane kannn, we go out sometimes, im thankful for that, but this isnt what im usually like, im not the type that does nothing, doing nothing for me means watching tv, gaming, reading. thats doing nothing, otherwise im constantly on the move trying to be fit. im really sorry if you think that i dont know how to mingle, but i do, really, its just that, skarang ni everyone is being paranoid, and dah ckp nak buat mcm i x exist in the house, so i buat je la, hahaha. tak salah kann?
oh and it really isnt my fault that DH suka buat bende tak bagitau aku. klu dia nak makan, dia turun sendiri, sbb takut aku tak bagi makan. dahhhhhh haritu janji dgn aku nak diet. ape cer beb? time2 dia nak makan lepas bgn tido boleh jee aku nak hidangkan, bukan aku tak buat, slalu klu aku turun makan dgn dia mesti aku hidang punya ahh, tapi dah masalahnye aku tak turun, time dia nak turun, tak ajak aku nak makan ke ape, camne aku nak hidang? pakai niat? aku yang tak kesah sgt pasal makanan ni jadi terasa tau, sbb aku bini dia, aku lagi suka makan dgn dia dari makan sensorang. tapi dia tak kesa pun takde aku time nak makan, or time nak buat apa2. tapi klu aku buat, ha siap nak memekak bagai.
aku ni, maybe nampak mcm tak malu, tapi aku segan dohh dgn DH's family. DH senang laa ckp takde bende nak segan, family dia family aku gak. plus dah ada yang having second thoughts, back talks and all, DH should try to protect me. bukan i nak u go against the family tau b, cuma bila ada yang becakap tu, tak payah nak menggelupur lebih. relax la, and answer things to how they are, then it should be fine. bendenye simple je klu suma orang paham cerita sebenar. kan kan kan? contoh dah ada depan mata taknak amek pedoman dan tauladan lagi. susahhhh susahhh.
bestnye klu bole men gt5 pakai cockpit kan syg kan? hahahaha.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Guess what
Ada orang tu menggelupur nak beli steering GT smalam. hahaha, dulu time mmbr dia beli, dia macam lek lagi la. sbb yang mmbr dia beli tu g27, and it costs 1k, which is fucking expensive, plus time tu we were living by ourselves, so byk pakai duit and his part time job doesnt pay much, so he let it drop for a while. until recently aku cam sebut2 pasal steering byk2 kali, where at first DH was like 'jgn nak steering sgt' tapi last2..
jack black main GT5
my baby's happy face, hahahha
Skarang dah duduk dgn org, duit tak byk pakai, and he has cash to spare, so DH bought the Logitech driving force GT. not the g27(i was hoping for this one, cantik sikit hahaha tapi nak jimat la kononnye)which costs around rm400. 500 cheaper than the g27, with minor differences. the g27 has a clutch pedal, a proper tiptronic, and a H stick shift, which position you could adjust. compared to the driving force GT, the shift is permanently positioned on the right, the tiptronic is something you think doesnt exist at first but suddenly its there because its so small and hidden behind the wheel and there aint no clutch pedal.
and im pretty sure the big price difference isnt only based on these extras, but the exclusivity of the g27 jugakk. aku rasa paling obvious mmg bab stylo tu la, sbb driving force GT ni nampak macam cikai sket wakakaka.
i tried playing with the wheels, but im no racer beb, plus you cant just go on the wheels like how you drive a normal car (DH tegur aku sbb aku men pusing steering sukahati patu bersepahh), its more like precise driving, how you handle the wheel, how you step on the gas or the brake. kaki pun dua2 nak kene guna on the pedals, takle nak pakai macam keta biasa where you only use one foot for auto transmission cars. DH takyah cakapp laaaa, dia mmg nak pun aku mengaku dia terer gila babi bawak kete racing, sbb dia slalu blagak dgn aku yang dia ni born racer, dari kecik lagi dia menang racing yada yada yada... yelahhhh terer2. i need to practice more. haha.
you know, one thing i super hate, apart from DH smoking, is when he leaves me alone at home, to be with his friends. how come i dont get to leave the house to be with my friends? ohh rightt, because im the wife and he's the husband.
whatever la b, i syg je u
tapi klu boleh, aku nak gakk ahhh klu DH ada effort lebih in his attempt to jaga hati aku. hahaha sape taknak dohhhh, gila ke ape.
Skarang dah duduk dgn org, duit tak byk pakai, and he has cash to spare, so DH bought the Logitech driving force GT. not the g27(i was hoping for this one, cantik sikit hahaha tapi nak jimat la kononnye)which costs around rm400. 500 cheaper than the g27, with minor differences. the g27 has a clutch pedal, a proper tiptronic, and a H stick shift, which position you could adjust. compared to the driving force GT, the shift is permanently positioned on the right, the tiptronic is something you think doesnt exist at first but suddenly its there because its so small and hidden behind the wheel and there aint no clutch pedal.
and im pretty sure the big price difference isnt only based on these extras, but the exclusivity of the g27 jugakk. aku rasa paling obvious mmg bab stylo tu la, sbb driving force GT ni nampak macam cikai sket wakakaka.
i tried playing with the wheels, but im no racer beb, plus you cant just go on the wheels like how you drive a normal car (DH tegur aku sbb aku men pusing steering sukahati patu bersepahh), its more like precise driving, how you handle the wheel, how you step on the gas or the brake. kaki pun dua2 nak kene guna on the pedals, takle nak pakai macam keta biasa where you only use one foot for auto transmission cars. DH takyah cakapp laaaa, dia mmg nak pun aku mengaku dia terer gila babi bawak kete racing, sbb dia slalu blagak dgn aku yang dia ni born racer, dari kecik lagi dia menang racing yada yada yada... yelahhhh terer2. i need to practice more. haha.
you know, one thing i super hate, apart from DH smoking, is when he leaves me alone at home, to be with his friends. how come i dont get to leave the house to be with my friends? ohh rightt, because im the wife and he's the husband.
tapi klu boleh, aku nak gakk ahhh klu DH ada effort lebih in his attempt to jaga hati aku. hahaha sape taknak dohhhh, gila ke ape.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Pokemon frenzy
recently we went to *** ****** to watch a movie, memula nak tgk xmen, penuh, then nak tgk kungfu panda, penuh gakk, then last2 tgk pirates of the carribean lagi skaliiiii. but in 3D, although tak sepening first aku tgk 3D, tapi pening la jugak. haha, balik tu aku sakit kepala tapi aku rasa 1/3 happy of how happy i should actually be on that day.
DH bought me the pokemon soulsilver versionn ahhahahaha best kan? tapi mahal nak mampus ahh. 170 doh, padahal haritu kitorg beli heartgold 145 je. ok tu satu kegembiraan aku dpt. lagi 2 tu aku tak dapattt! aku nak pokemon guide black and white version vol 2, tapi DH tak bagii. wuuu. and i couldnt find a copy of the poke guide heartgold version vol 2... babi la. why did i have to leave it at home?
and my uncharted
and the Ps3
and the rest of the gaming stufffff why oh why!
ah well, DH bought a replacement for the ps3, and its the gran turismo 5 edition. smaller memory though, but what the heck. janji boleh main. masa awal2 haritu aku byk main tennis on it, now DH nak main balik gt5 tu sbb previous data all back at my parents place. DH lets me play sometimes when he's lazy to race or when i feel like playing, and now i feel like i want the logitech driving force GT steering to play it with. hahahaha. mann im soo materialistic! bukan nak pikir rugi tinggal mak bapak , rugi tinggal game je tau.haha. i miss my family, especially my sister, cz i tell her everything. but they seem to not miss me, so i cant do anything if they dont want to accept me and DH, and i have to follow DH, not my family. may seem harsh, may seem like im abandoning them, but abandoning means i dont fucking think of them anymore or try to get things fixed and by that it means im not abandoning them apart from what some people think.
titanium blue
i just cant let the pokemon book out of my head. i feel so stupid to have it left at home. and the other stuff. damn. i dont care about the clothes, the accessories, i only want the games, and yeah the ps motion controllers and the ps eye. the games we have now are so little wehh, and sume dah main. yang kat umah tu ada sims tak habis main lagi, little big planet 2 takhabis lagi, uncharted tak habis lagi, and i wass sooo looking forward to play the darn thing! anyways, the pokemon book, is the most important item, yang lain2 tu menyusul bila aku pikir pasal buku pokemon tu je.
mann i hope to get the book back, especially the pokemon guide... :(
DH bought me the pokemon soulsilver versionn ahhahahaha best kan? tapi mahal nak mampus ahh. 170 doh, padahal haritu kitorg beli heartgold 145 je. ok tu satu kegembiraan aku dpt. lagi 2 tu aku tak dapattt! aku nak pokemon guide black and white version vol 2, tapi DH tak bagii. wuuu. and i couldnt find a copy of the poke guide heartgold version vol 2... babi la. why did i have to leave it at home?
 |
| two pokewalkers, one just plain useless.gonna try and fix it sometime. |
and the Ps3
and the rest of the gaming stufffff why oh why!
ah well, DH bought a replacement for the ps3, and its the gran turismo 5 edition. smaller memory though, but what the heck. janji boleh main. masa awal2 haritu aku byk main tennis on it, now DH nak main balik gt5 tu sbb previous data all back at my parents place. DH lets me play sometimes when he's lazy to race or when i feel like playing, and now i feel like i want the logitech driving force GT steering to play it with. hahahaha. mann im soo materialistic! bukan nak pikir rugi tinggal mak bapak , rugi tinggal game je tau.haha. i miss my family, especially my sister, cz i tell her everything. but they seem to not miss me, so i cant do anything if they dont want to accept me and DH, and i have to follow DH, not my family. may seem harsh, may seem like im abandoning them, but abandoning means i dont fucking think of them anymore or try to get things fixed and by that it means im not abandoning them apart from what some people think.
i just cant let the pokemon book out of my head. i feel so stupid to have it left at home. and the other stuff. damn. i dont care about the clothes, the accessories, i only want the games, and yeah the ps motion controllers and the ps eye. the games we have now are so little wehh, and sume dah main. yang kat umah tu ada sims tak habis main lagi, little big planet 2 takhabis lagi, uncharted tak habis lagi, and i wass sooo looking forward to play the darn thing! anyways, the pokemon book, is the most important item, yang lain2 tu menyusul bila aku pikir pasal buku pokemon tu je.
mann i hope to get the book back, especially the pokemon guide... :(
Monday, June 20, 2011
Stressed deep inside!
i feel so disturbed. you wanna know why?ill tell you why.
I havent exercised for almost two months
sumpah everytime i think of it i feel like i have butterflies in my stomach. takut doh, ive been so active before, and suddenly everything stops, and i dont get to exercise because of evryone else being paranoid? cehh. i can do weight training and all but then weight training alone wont work if i want to maintain my body! i need to sweat, and i need to sweat aloooottt. i should be training for this weekends marathon, but then tak train pun because, DH and me, were not allowed out of the house. theres a treadmill in the house, belonging to DH's aunt, and she said i could use it...
aku bukan taknak guna ok, its just that bende tu feeble gila, aku tgk haritu DH ada la macam lari2 anak kat atas mende tuh, and the fucking thing bent like it was going to break! scary dohh. aku tau la DH berat lebih so the load is plenty compared to if aku yang naik bende tuh, tapi aku nak lari serious bai, and if i run, the pressure on the mill would just be as same as when DH lari memain tu. and i guess everyone knows, that even the cheapest of treadmills (paling lopek skali pun) costs much2 more than 1k, a ps3 costs 1k, and thats the right price for it. not the treadmill though. so you do the thinking la, should i should i not run on it. satg lari, patah dua jahanam, langsung takde bende hiasan nak letak kat bawah. i heard his aunt only had it used for 2 days, and then its a decorative item. i guess the mill can only be used for walking, not serious running. whatever. i need to exercise!
ive been eating alot of sweets lately, each packet containing 350kcal, smalam aku makan bape peket sial, 8? 9? tak ingat dahh. tapi byk ahh,dgn nasik ayam lagi, haih. aku rasa ada laa dlm 5000kcal smalam? itu smalam, what about the days before? fuck fuck fuckkkkkk nak exercisee! i dont want to be unable to fit in my clothes wehhh mintak tolonggg. i dont want to be unfit either.. the whole year spent on improving my fitness, hoping to test it during kl marathon, all down the drain dah.. sob3. pleasee please please let me jog outside. i need to run...
bila nak guna nihhh?!!
I havent exercised for almost two months
sumpah everytime i think of it i feel like i have butterflies in my stomach. takut doh, ive been so active before, and suddenly everything stops, and i dont get to exercise because of evryone else being paranoid? cehh. i can do weight training and all but then weight training alone wont work if i want to maintain my body! i need to sweat, and i need to sweat aloooottt. i should be training for this weekends marathon, but then tak train pun because, DH and me, were not allowed out of the house. theres a treadmill in the house, belonging to DH's aunt, and she said i could use it...
DH's aunt: tu ada tu, guna la
DH : ha, guna la, beli mahal gak tu kan?
DH's aunt: 1k jugak la beli
Me :haih...aku bukan taknak guna ok, its just that bende tu feeble gila, aku tgk haritu DH ada la macam lari2 anak kat atas mende tuh, and the fucking thing bent like it was going to break! scary dohh. aku tau la DH berat lebih so the load is plenty compared to if aku yang naik bende tuh, tapi aku nak lari serious bai, and if i run, the pressure on the mill would just be as same as when DH lari memain tu. and i guess everyone knows, that even the cheapest of treadmills (paling lopek skali pun) costs much2 more than 1k, a ps3 costs 1k, and thats the right price for it. not the treadmill though. so you do the thinking la, should i should i not run on it. satg lari, patah dua jahanam, langsung takde bende hiasan nak letak kat bawah. i heard his aunt only had it used for 2 days, and then its a decorative item. i guess the mill can only be used for walking, not serious running. whatever. i need to exercise!
ive been eating alot of sweets lately, each packet containing 350kcal, smalam aku makan bape peket sial, 8? 9? tak ingat dahh. tapi byk ahh,dgn nasik ayam lagi, haih. aku rasa ada laa dlm 5000kcal smalam? itu smalam, what about the days before? fuck fuck fuckkkkkk nak exercisee! i dont want to be unable to fit in my clothes wehhh mintak tolonggg. i dont want to be unfit either.. the whole year spent on improving my fitness, hoping to test it during kl marathon, all down the drain dah.. sob3. pleasee please please let me jog outside. i need to run...
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Memories
tetibe aku teringat time aku kecit dulu, around 3,4 years old camtu, isap susu botol ptg2 dlm kol 2, 3. mak aku dok baring seblah aku nak bagi aku tido la kononnye, haha skali dia yang tido dulu, aku pun ape lagi, time dia dah tido tu, senyap2 kuar rumah, g rumah jiran aku at the end of the road hahaha, time tu aku baru kecit tauuu dah buat perangai camtu. mak aku slalu tak heran laaa klu aku hilang dari rumah, dia mesti tau aku g rumah jiran nyer, sbb jiran aku tu ada anak laki sama baya dgn aku, kitorang suka main sesama. slalu aku buat perangai kuar rumah ni time pagi2 before pegi kindergarten dgn time ptg, haha. lawak ahh, kecit2 lagi dah pandai buat bende ikut sukati. bila dah terbawak sampai besar, mmg tak sempat laa nak ubah.
aku ni, bukan la anak solehah. tapi aku boleh pikir mana baik buruk laku terhadap mak bapak. yang aku kawin lari ni, mungkin org tgk, kata membelakangi mak bapak. mungkin jugakk, but the way i see it, is that aku ni snarnya doing them a favor by acknowledging my religion and not ignoring it, kira ilmu agama yang dorang dok susah2 nak ajar aku tapi rasa macam aku ni tak suka ikut agama sgt tu ada jugak tersemat dlm hati aku ni.
my current case makes me see things in a different way, the more positive side of everything. like i said, i was super rational when i made the decision and i dont mean to harm my parents mentally nor emotionally but hey, i dont have the remote to their hearts and minds. so aku mintak doa kat Allah je lah bagi terbukak sikit pintu hati. klu taknak nak buat macam mana, balasan tuhan pada aku la tuhh.
smalam DH bought me a pair of jeans! yay! haha. lama gila tak pakai jeans. he complained about the price, saying that its super expensive and thats the only pair im gonna get my whole life hahahaha, tapi you sayang i kan b, so mesti nnt you beli lagi klu i nakk :D oh and we bought JENGA, you know, the block game, where you pull and stack em as high as you could before it topples over? if im rajin enough then nanti ada laa gambar, takde nasib ahh haha. it was fun playing it with DH cz dia banyak buat lawak bongok with the blocks.
65bux for 54 pieces of claimed to be presicion cut wood... claims are hardly ever the truth.
DH went out, since were now staying with his family, we (and his family) decide that its best if we stop renting. dorang cakap jimat sikit klu duduk dgn dorang, (haha i couldnt agree more..theyre super nice people weyh) so DH kuar g settle bende2 rumah tu la, nak amek barang and stuff. i hope i could get my guitar soon! lama gila babi wei tak main guitar. i promise, if i get it back soon, aku nak main betul2 try reka2 lagu sendiri ke (ceywahhh cita2 besar gila kann hahaha). so nnt balik usm its gonna be music and running and hopefully kuat sket laa study ;)
aku ni, bukan la anak solehah. tapi aku boleh pikir mana baik buruk laku terhadap mak bapak. yang aku kawin lari ni, mungkin org tgk, kata membelakangi mak bapak. mungkin jugakk, but the way i see it, is that aku ni snarnya doing them a favor by acknowledging my religion and not ignoring it, kira ilmu agama yang dorang dok susah2 nak ajar aku tapi rasa macam aku ni tak suka ikut agama sgt tu ada jugak tersemat dlm hati aku ni.
my current case makes me see things in a different way, the more positive side of everything. like i said, i was super rational when i made the decision and i dont mean to harm my parents mentally nor emotionally but hey, i dont have the remote to their hearts and minds. so aku mintak doa kat Allah je lah bagi terbukak sikit pintu hati. klu taknak nak buat macam mana, balasan tuhan pada aku la tuhh.
smalam DH bought me a pair of jeans! yay! haha. lama gila tak pakai jeans. he complained about the price, saying that its super expensive and thats the only pair im gonna get my whole life hahahaha, tapi you sayang i kan b, so mesti nnt you beli lagi klu i nakk :D oh and we bought JENGA, you know, the block game, where you pull and stack em as high as you could before it topples over? if im rajin enough then nanti ada laa gambar, takde nasib ahh haha. it was fun playing it with DH cz dia banyak buat lawak bongok with the blocks.
DH went out, since were now staying with his family, we (and his family) decide that its best if we stop renting. dorang cakap jimat sikit klu duduk dgn dorang, (haha i couldnt agree more..theyre super nice people weyh) so DH kuar g settle bende2 rumah tu la, nak amek barang and stuff. i hope i could get my guitar soon! lama gila babi wei tak main guitar. i promise, if i get it back soon, aku nak main betul2 try reka2 lagu sendiri ke (ceywahhh cita2 besar gila kann hahaha). so nnt balik usm its gonna be music and running and hopefully kuat sket laa study ;)
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Truth is that..
aku jumpe mamat ni kat mespes time skola2 dulu. dah tuhan bagi aku lepak dgn dia, alhamdulillah la kan, sampi kawin dah pun haha. tapi kitorang kawin cara lain sket. cara spesel. cara yang orang rasa tak patut buat, tapi disebabkan i am who i am, so aku buat jugak. nothing wrong with it, its just that my family customs simply thinks its unacceptable.
perhaps i ought to say that im sorry to those whom i lied to about everything, especially about my status. bukan aku sesaja nak up market ke ape, but aku cuma risau if it would leak all the way to my parents. bende macam ni kan, USM tu plak kecik je, dahla sume orang suka gossip, so mmg aku taknak la sume orang tau. (tapi skarang takpe huahuahua)
sesungguhnye aku takde niat pun nak hurt my parents by telling them the truth, thats why i think some things are best kept secret. ini pendapat aku sendiri la kan, aku rasa, bende ni mmg mendatangkan kemarahan, but its not something that Allah disagrees with, and when He says ok, we as human beings, hamba2 dia ni, sepatutnya terima dgn hati terbuka. i admit, aku pun bukan la seorang yang redha (walaupun most of the crucial things in life aku redha je e.g; result yang tahpape walaupun penat2 pulun last menet) because aku slalu complain about things not going my way tapi bila datang bab2 halal haram, agama dosa ni, aku macam boleh kata, tak puas pikir la. aku mmg tak alim mana pun, aurat tak jaga mana, solat ada gak tertinggal, melawan lagi, dulu buat bukan2 lagi, tapi yang aku sedar la, 2, 3 years back, aku rasa segan sbb aku tak pedulikan agama sgt, buat apa aku suka. time2 aku tak jaga aurat pun, aku taknak snarnya, tapi tah ahh, aku tak cukup iman doh, pikir nak senang pakai je, bab dosa pikir gak, tapi the thought of simplifying things tu dominates my mind so aku abaikan tuhan. bila pikir2 balik, macam bodoh gila, pikir tuhan tapi buat jugak. so the decision i made a year ago was to make me start to think more about Allah (eventhough i fail countless times, am only human after all) about what would be best for my religion in the long run. My parents refuse to accept DH, tapi aku nak jugak dia, and being with him all the time but not being legal in the eye of Allah buat aku rasa bersalah. it was like, aku nak solat tapi aku tak solat sbb aku rasa tak guna solat if nnt nak buat bende haram balik. so solat tu untuk apa? syarat sbb kata aku ni islam la? jahil la aku klu camtu, bek jadi kafir je.
bukan nak kata aku ni baik ok, takkkk. dah aku rasa macam tu nak buat macamane. tu pun syukur la beb tuhan bagi aku perasaan macam tu, klu tak, sampai bila nak hanyut dalam dosa? even dah sah dgn DH skarang pun buat dosa bersepah lagi, tambah klu tak kawin? chet. sia2 je hidup aku.
haha, ko mesti rasa apebende laaaa yang aku dah buat ni. ahahaha, kelakar dohh, aku nak bagitau ko pun kelakar. why dont you have a guess? takpe ahhh aku btau laa. aku kawin lari :D
12/7/2010 was the date of when we got married. 2nd year 2nd semester! sapa rasa tertipu hembus taik hidung!hahaha. ingat taknak bagitau pun my parents, but then i just had to tell because DH buat perangai bongok babi dia,nak memerap sbb dia rasa 'diperkecilkan' katanya haha, lantaklaaa, dah bgtau da pun and im soo glad i did cz our status doesnt have to kept secret anymore. eh eh aku tak kawin sbb aku mengandung ok, aku kawin sbb aku sayang DH and i want things to be done the right way according to my religion (the real right way would be that he comes to the house and go thru all the procedures of merisik ke meminang whatever shit, but were simple people hahaha, seriously, i always opt for simplicity. takde la semak otak sgt) and i feel like i need to change the way i live. woi kira baguslaaaa DH tu nak kawin dgn aku tau! haa most guys kecut perut siall bila sebut pasal kawin.
so DH's parents decided a kenduri for us, where the rest of the family would come to learn of me (to elakkan fitnah, tau2 jela orang kampung kann) since im going to be around DH alot nnt. it was a simple one, nothing fancy. You dont know how glad we were when DH's family was super cool about us eloping. Mak dia siap alhamdulillah lagi sbb mak dia ingat dah terlanjur... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. anyways mak dia kata bagus ahh bende halal yada3. his dad was a bit frustrated at first, but then one of his uncles kasik nasihat sket kat ayah dia kata ni ketentuan tuhan, terima jela lagipun bukan bende salah... ahh well, atleast how his family thinks of our situation lightens my mind's burden of the negative opinions.
theres more to the story though, im not much of a story teller. im basically what i type, if i try to elaborate more than things might get mixed up. so mana yang aku type ni, ni jela ceritanya for now.
Dont know what the fuck happened to my previous blog
After a month spending some time in solitude, (haha, jgn memain, mmg aku duduk in some kind of solitary shell), im back in the blogging business! sumpah weii aku bosan gile takde blog pape sebulan lebih, with so many things to tell but no one to tell them to because i was practically not allowed to make contact with the outside world, my phone was forced to shut, no internet access, no exercise at all yada yada yada. lucky theres the ps3 though, klu tak mmg mati kutu beb, it was all sleep eat ps3 je. nothing else. i can imagine how bad things are for fugitives on the run ( not to say that ive been some fugitive for the past month, tapi... bole laaa, kira on the run jugak la haha)
so my previous blog got deleted. and i assume i know who did it. well i dont blame her, maybe she's just trying to protect me or somesort? i like to take things positive lately, after all thats happened, i find it really unfair for the other party to be misjudged (with negative thoughts) therefore i try to remind myself of how it feels to be misunderstood and to do the same to others is just plain unjustice.
right now i think family is much more important than to mind about friends who turn against you.
so my previous blog got deleted. and i assume i know who did it. well i dont blame her, maybe she's just trying to protect me or somesort? i like to take things positive lately, after all thats happened, i find it really unfair for the other party to be misjudged (with negative thoughts) therefore i try to remind myself of how it feels to be misunderstood and to do the same to others is just plain unjustice.
right now i think family is much more important than to mind about friends who turn against you.
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