Lega tau

The pain was much worse than before doh.. Rasa nak guling and ignore but takboleh nak tahan sehh. First time gugur sakit gak tapi dlm 2 hours cmtu je. Kali ni mak aii. Aku nak tunggu water break tu bernanah sial. Dlm 5 jam gak laa merana haha. Segala malu aku ketepikan sbb sakit sgt.

After my water broke i felt the pain reduce slightly, super relieved at that time cz i knew the rest was gonna come out soon. And it did like 10 mins after. Hooray.

Goodbye dead matter

DH is and i are wasting money on a new hobby, which i dont know how long its gonna last for.. Well he was the one who suggested it. I thought it was pretty and i did thought of it a long time before so aku pun ok la kan. Kitorang nak bela ikan laut! Hehe. Nak setup dia mcm leceh sikit sbb nk kene biar tank tu cycle dulu for a couple of days and to add any livestock it could take up to a month if stabilized, if not lagi lama la. Leceh menunggu, DH plak bukannye ada tahap kesabaran yg kental. Aku plak jadi serabut tgk dia nk buat semua skaligus, mcm tadi g kedai ikan, dia dok sebok nak bela ikan harini jugak, sbb boring tgk batu je dalam tank. and i thought he was aware that a marine tank consumes time to be ready for livestock since he did his research before starting. jenis yang tau, tapi buat tak tau ni sbb nak ikut nafsu jugak kan. kekeke. Its day two of the set up process and we still havent managed to get the specific gravity of the water right, typical beginners agony. Lepas dah ok nak kene test ammonia, nitrate, carbonate, ph stable baru bole taruk ikan. Lama lagi wohhhh.

the empty tank..salinity now is 1.021, required is 1.024. pun susah nak dapat... aku xreti nak calculate sbb dulu time lab bila nak prepare solution je aku amek calculation orang, haha. sarah, sarah.

One obvious thing about this hobby is that it sure is expensive.. Like really expensive. Mechanical items i can understand but live rocks, as in rocks with sea algae on them for 15bux per kilo? And its just rocks for the deco base and the early cycle of the tank(a healthy rock would be spotting some colored algae, usually purple being dominant).corals, invertabrates are mostly above 50, 70 ringgit. But its fine though since the marine tank needs like a couple of months to set, we dont have to buy everything all at once. Just something every week lol... Rabak rabak.

Its DH's birthday today! No presents because hes preoccupied with the tank, duit banyak dah keluar.
Anak merdeka cap ayam hehe. Happy birthday sayang!

The day that i have been waiting for, setelah sebulan!

I think today segala bende yang dok dlm perut aku ni akan tekeluar. Klau hari ni tak keluar skali dgn taik boleh aku kutip tgk2 ke en.. But i doubt so la.. Nak kene teran bagai lagi.. Mau tak tekeluar tahik2 aku.

See this is whats going on inside


Dulu pun bende sama gak. Sedih2. Anyways now dah nak keluar it wont be looking round and whole anymore but crumpled instead.

Damn it hurts, in an annoying way for now because the contractions are spaced. Tunggu masa je nak sakit lebih.

Cina believe in exercising rather than dok melepet berpantang. And i agree with them.. Makes your body stronger and it feels much better that way.Although many would definitely disagree with me. Might have to be exercising secretly then lol.

Ahh im gonna watch a movie to let time pass by. Ke nak basuh baju?

Gewamnyeee

Comel kannn hihihi

Tgk bola?

Smalam lepak kuantan. Sepatutnye lepak lama2 tu nak g spital, buat natang d&c tu la tapi terasa malas lak jadinye melepet kat rumah jela.

Because i got like super bored, and member aku kat kuatang tu busy wat mende taktau jadi aku paksa DH bawak aku g jejalan. He gave in to my request after sometime cz i can tell he was totally bored himself tapi malas nak keluar yet since it was freaking hot at that time. Out we went, DH his cousin and me ke teluk chempedak.

Sampi di nu jem nak mapuh.. Org sume pakat raya kat pantai, boleh main seluk2 tgn kan..hahaha. Dah tu nak g drivethru kat mcd. Tgh beratur tu kete overheat, berasap2 kauu. Rupenye masa g repair baru ni dia xpasang soket kipas tu. DH pun sbb sebok tgk menu time tu tak perasan la yg temperature dah naik to the max. Kene tolak kete la pulakk.. Tak jadi beli mcd, beger king je. Banyak monyet doh kat situ. I bought like two cans of light coke, bila dah kosong tin tu cousin DH amek la letak dekat monyet tu. Dia ameknye tin tu buat gaya dahaga gila minum air, haha kesian aku tgk.


Takde la kesian sgt pun.. More like geram la. Sbb comel. Perasaang nok amek sekor bawok balik rumah je time tu.

Lepas dah habis minum sume gerak g cari kedai kete nak repair. Dah setel balik la rumah. Malam tu plak cousin DH lagi sorang sampai, so kitorang g tgk bola kat stadium. Pahang vs t-team. Aku ni tak reti sgt pun tgk bola.. Not familiar with the rules. But i love watching people play sports(in this case football)and their agility and efficiency in handling the the ball gets me fair enough excited. T-team xbest sgt smlm, i kinda thought they were pretty slow. Pahang laju so it was a balanced game la..takde la bosan sgt nak tgk. Hehe.


DH kepanasangg


Paling best malam tu ialah bila min dtg lepak dgn aku! Yay. Best2. Dia dah habis blaja jadi normal balik laa.. Kalau tak dulu masa dia tgh nerdy tu nak balik awal la hape la. Bosan2.

Rasa nak makan kepokkk!

Layan bawah kipas sejuk nak mampus

Terkapar kapar ku kelemasan
Sakit dilambung ombak kerinduan
Didalam tidur didalam jaga
Dibuai oleh mimpi yang serupa
Mengapa aku jadi tidak menentu
Keranamu

Ku menyusuri jalan berliku
Membiarkan hari hari berlalu
Tiada salam tiada pesan
Memaksa diri untuk melupakan
Namun wajahmu bermain difikiranku
Tiap waktu

Malam kusuramm
Siang kukelam
Ku kegelisahan
Mencari cari
Kemana pergi
Harga diri ini
Bertanyakan berita
Merisik khabar mendengar cerita melaluinya
Kau kuhampiri
Tiap hari
Bersama luka dihati

Rasa nak g karoke skarang jugak! Ahh tak tahannyee.

Raya kedua kat lubuk laki aku

Balik kemaman last wednesday. Tu pun dah jem nak mapuhh. Seb bek buka kat kuantan. Konon nak ajak mmbr aku jupe jap tapi tak jadi sbb aku tertido and by the time aku bgn tu dorg dah nak balik dah and aku baru nak reply msg mmbr aku whicg she sent like an hour ago.

So this is my second time celebrating raya with me hubby's family. Total kampung experience. Masa sambut kat kl biasanya time ni dah takde kete.. Ni kat kemaman, mak ai. Kete mcm hape je. But this years raya wouldnt feel like last years nye, cz i got to see my mum before aku balik kampung. Walaupun diiringi dgn kejadian yg sumpah aku benci gila walaupun aku tau perangai masing2 mmg mmg mcm tu tapi lantakla. Janji part aku dah settle kan. Aku pi jumpa, nak bebaik tapi dah taknak aku nak wat guane. Mujur laa mak aku cam ok sket kalau dia sama naik gak mcm org lain aku tak tau la nak buat apa. Agaknye dah mati kojol kot kat situ.

Anyways ma, selamat hari raya to you. Walaupun haritu tak sempat mintak maaf tapi i harap u tau yg itu la niat i on that day. I hope that you dapat apa yg you doakan all these while, and moga Allah bagi petunjuk to all of us. We all make mistakes ma, were only human. Bukan nabi. Tapi what happened that day is something i will never forget, sbb i bukan budak2 kecik lagi untuk dibuat mcm tu. I ni pompuan. Despite the fact i anak, tapi i tetap pompuan. Nasib baiklaaa aku dah gugur awal2 kalau tak haha habis bedarah hanyarr kat situ.Mungkin apa yg dorg buat haritu bagi satu rasa puas hati ke apa tak tau la kan. Ikut la. But i really appreciate the fact that you din join in the crazy frenzy lol, which makes me feel tak sia2 i teringat kat you all the time because honestly at one point when you were totally against me yelling on the phone and all when i tried to talk nicely i thought maybe you just hate me already. But then i cuma lupa yg tu mmg perangai u, bising gila nak mampus kalau dah lama tak jumpa but once jumpa jadi ok sikit la kan haha walaupun still bising gak lagi.

Papehalpun. Slamat hari raya mama. Maaf zahir dan batin. Also to nana, for thinking that aku buat onar kat dia. I love you both. Mwa.

:(

What i feared might happen, happened. Damn. So fucking numb right now. This was like all i ever wanted.

Hmm

Almost there

Raya is coming, but i dont feel so good about it. Last years was ok but what followed after wasnt and its haunting me every second since it started again a couple of months ago. Seeing that im having a clear complication that could lead to a same end as before, its inevitable for me to feel this way. However i am totally hoping for the best because its something ive been looking forward to, which could prolly fix the situation..but then, youll never know pun kan haha. Tah2 tak dilayan pun.

Lama kan tak post kat blog. Aku malas doh. Bulan pose ni nege ayam percik. Bgn tghr, tido lepas subuh. Well aku tido lama sket la like kol 2, 3 tu biasanye mata aku tak bape nak tahan. Sahur bangun patu tido balik. Tgh hari ke ptg buat keje sket. Dah siap aku naik baring2 tetido lagi haha. Damnn letih sial. Tak buat apa pun tapi pergh. Mcm tak cukup tido je. Lepas buka sakit kepala mmg konfem. Pening lalat camtu..nak kene tido jap lagi hahahaha ape ni pose asek tido je? Ish2. Well the fatigue and headaches are still around so i hope its like a sign that nothins wrong, except for the tenderness of the boobies.. Damn. I kinda worry about that. I really want to go for a scan but theyre kinda costly and duit dah habis buat lepak dgn member2. Hahahaha. Silap betul laa tak pikir pasal bende ni seblum pegi berembun dgn mangkuk2 tu. Berbaloi ke tidak? Obviously no. Biasa ah. Bila dah terikut sgt hati. Mmg tak pikir apa dah. Tuhan pun boleh lupa. But then again.. Aku bukanlah nabi. Cuma manusia yang alpa, tak habis2 dgn dosa. Baru cuba sikit dah puas, rasa susah nak dpt berkat.

Ini ialah yg org kata tak matang! Yelakann umur aku baru 23. Ahaha.
Ppl think that 23 is too young of an age to be married, cz nowadays ppl keje cari duit and all. I dont think so, being married early is an advantage for anyone. It makes you think, and it gives you lotsa spare time to fix yourself, with ppl and with Allah. Mmg ajal maut kita tak tau bila tapi kalau time2 ni dah start pikir pasal hidup, bagus kot. Insyaallah boleh sedar awal patu byk masa nak taubat, unlike sedar bila dah tua.

Cakap mmg senang. Tapi cuba la.. Bende yang kita suka kita boleh je buat sampai habis.. Nak pegi lepak sanggup je habis duit tak ingat anak bini. Nak buat ringtone untuk iphone sanggup je geledah habis internet sampai boleh. Tapi nak rezeki? Solat pun susah. Usaha pun lepas tangan cmtu je. Dah camne tuhan nak bagi. Mintak gitu semua orang pun boleh. Tapi semua org tu dapat ke?

Tak retila aku. Haha biasa ahh aku kan puang... Kalau tak bebel, bukan org puang ahh namanye!

Bebaru ni kan badminton for olympics, i have never felt so emotional in watching a sport. Not even for squash.. But then again i guess it was because i wasnt sure about chong wei winning. Watching Nicol is different because dah mmg tau konfem dia menang. takyah cite la.. Kalau olympics ada squash mmg gold la jawabnye. Anyways tahniah lcw. You did well. Silver2 pun dia je yg boleh buat. Haha. Yg dok bengang dgn dia sbb tak dpt gold tu sudah2 laa.. You people arent in his shoes so cakap je mmg boleh. Letih dia, pressure dia ko tak tau pun kan.

No more posts till after raya i guess.. Letih nak type ni. Hahaha.

Just a link.. To clarify things.

http://shazril.blogspot.com/2010/03/wali-hakim-vs-wali-tahkim-perkahwinan.html?m=1

So kesimpulannye jgnlah buat fatwa sendiri. Ikutilah yg mana ada.